I twist until it seems that either the lid or my wrist must give way. My wrist loses and suffers a mild sprain to add to the indignity.

She knows she's got it good.

Daniel Craig can quantum my solace anytime.

Really, people should be able to flout the law without the inconvenience of Squeegeer-shaped dents in your previously unmarked car. It’s hard enough to keep an eye out for police cars and …

Rule of thumb when shopping for new shoes

But if my dog thinks that she's won this round, she is sadly mistaken. That's right, my furry little friend, the competition isn't over yet.

No thanks, I believe in the healing power of buttery chicken grease!

"Why do you always engage me in conversation when I'm so close to wetting myself?"

Sick in bed. Will update soon.

I stumble over a pair of crutches poking out into the aisle. I recover my balance and glare ferociously at the owner. Thinking of tripping me so you can mug me with a knife hidden in your sock? Think again, buddy! I find a seat where I can keep an eye on my one-legged would-be assailant, silently daring him to come at me.