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Whoosh! I speed along the bike path. It’s early in the morning but there are already pedestrians blocking the path ahead. I bully old ladies out of my way and charge down dogs straying int …
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chubbyzebra 
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Sad. Sad sad sad, saddity saddity sad. My dog has just passed away. I’d said my goodbyes when I was home earlier this year. She was old and I thought that I might not see her again. So I g …
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chubbyzebra
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I buy a road bike. Badger is doubtful. “Are you sure?” he asks. “I know it’s second-hand, but it’s still a lot of money.” “It would be a lot more money if I bought it new. Think of how muc …
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chubbyzebra
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It has arrived! I am so very, very excited. So eager to try on my new outfit that I don’t stop to fiddle with the “Open here” flap, and instead rip the packaging apart with a Hulk-like roar. It is perfect! I don my new clothes, then call Badger in to admire me. He stops ...
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chubbyzebra
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Because I’m too busy watching Masterchef working hard to write proper posts, here’s someone who’s better at it. 6000Times. I recommend having a wee before reading such gems: I had visited my regular Dim Sum over fifty times before the owner would even give me a porite herro. The day that smug young Chi-nee caught ...
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chubbyzebra
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It’s not easy being an Asian female driver. There are heaps of negative stereotypes attached to this double whammy demographic. No spatial sense, blatant disregard for road rules, poor coordination, plain mental…I’ ;ve heard them all. Give me a break. You try being barely able to see over the steering wheel. Despite this, I reckon I’m ...
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chubbyzebra
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Badger: It must be hard for you, being constantly overshadowed by a partner with an IQ of 173. Me: More like an IQ of 0.173. Badger: x 100! Me: … Exactly, Mr. 17.3.
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We watch a little girl feeding the ducks. “The sign says not to feed the water birds,” I tell Badger. “There’s no water in the pond,” he points out. “So they’re not technically water birds.” He frowns as he senses an impending grandpa-ism. “More importantly, I don’t think she should be out in the mud. ...
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chubbyzebra
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chubbyzebra
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WooOOOoooOOOooo! I cut in front of the wailing ambulance (Malaysian driving skills FTW!) and screech to a halt in front of the Emergency Department. “I need a stretcher stat!” I holler. One is promptly wheeled over and I fuss over Badger as he is loaded onto it. Then he is whisked away and I am ...
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chubbyzebra
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Hungry. So hungry. It’s been two days since I had three teeth brutally yanked out. All those years of collecting little nuggets of wisdom for naught. If anything, I have those same nuggets to thank for the massive craters currently sending bolts of agony through my jaw. Zap! Zap! It’s like there are tiny spiteful ...
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chubbyzebra
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Who needs endorphins when smugness produces a high that’s so much more satisfying!
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I feel awful, I grump to him. I screw up my face and squeeze a tear out to demonstrate just how desperately ill I am.
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I take Badger to Cream in East Perth. He is very impressed with how it looks – dark chocolates and reds, furry walls, pretty waitresses all dolled up. Even the water pitchers are fancy-sch …
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I take Badger to Cream in East Perth. He is very impressed with how it looks – dark chocolates and reds, furry walls, pretty waitresses all dolled up. Even the water pitchers are fancy-sch …
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chubbyzebra
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But I hold true to loyalty, stubbornness, and pride! These are the secret ingredients in the Aussie sausage roll; what masks the taste of offal and makes this the nation’s staple snack.
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I can barely keep my excitement in check as the glass doors whoosh open. I want to sing out my arrival, Good morning, David Jones! The merchandise can sense my exuberance. They sparkle and glow in reply. Each item calls back to me, Buy me!
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I stumble over a pair of crutches poking out into the aisle. I recover my balance and glare ferociously at the owner. Thinking of tripping me so you can mug me with a knife hidden in your sock? Think again, buddy! I find a seat where I can keep an eye on my one-legged would-be assailant, silently daring him to come at me.
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Goody gumdrops, I am in danger of being thrown onto the tracks by a gang of pimply junkies.
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