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Self loathing turned self preservation
I am getting horrendous grades for this quarter, despite myself thinking that I have put in a lot of work. I don’t know much about photography or getting along with others despite myself thinking that I’ve been reading widely and that I am a natural charm around people.I am being very self-obsessed lately. Every thing that I mess up has been patched back by blaming others or giving lame excuses. I have lied to countless people trying to preserve my image and reputation. Apparently I have been deceiving myself too? I think I spent too much time shoving my anger down everyone else’s throats, convincing them how much hardship I am enduring right now, and how dare them question me about integrity and perseverance… When I could have spent more time being humble, teachable and actually doing something right for a long time now.I feel empty now… Somebody please slap me awake.
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