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MY GROSSEST AMSTERDAM STORY
I’m gonna warn you up front, this story is a bit gross. The star of this story isn't me; it's a friend of mine. I'll call him Steve. So a group of us were in Amsterdam, doing all the standard things people do there - hitting the “coffee shops,” the Van Gogh museum, and ultimately a sex show. Now, this wasn't your standard sex show. In fact, there was no sex at all. It featured a well-past-her-prime woman who would lie down onstage and challenge members of the audience to try and shit in her face for 50 euros. Yes, shit in her face. If successful, you won a cash prize. Paying over 100 American dollars to try and defecate on this haggard creature in front of a crowd of drunk weirdoes sounded like a punishment to me. Not Steve. He likes a challenge. So he handed over his 50 euros and dropped trow. Alas, with the combination of unanticipated stage fright and the woman blowing air from her mouth directly on his asshole, shitting was impossible. Steve failed. In fact, all the
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