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Almost the lousiest day

It was almost the lousiest day today.Because academics means a lot to me, because it is a big contributor to my self-esteem, because I have super high expectations of myself, because I am now in possession of a CAP of which I have never thought I would be at, I am now a very bruised person. I avoid talking as much as possible about grades and CAPs (especially mine - not because I'm one of those who hide my grades away, but because I am too embarrassed and tired to face all of this again) and the modules I'm taking this semester (because I have to repeat repeatedly to others which modules I'm taking and when they realize I'm taking 6 modules, I have to explain for the nth time that I have failed a module before), all of which are very very very demoralizing for me and I don't exactly wish to talk about it anymore. I've since taken to either missing out on mentioning a module I'm taking so that I can avoid going through the 6-module-conversation, or simply saying "No lah, I have to take 6 modules this semester

 

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